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Monday, February 28, 2011


Welcome to my blog, Dear Tilters!  If you are here, it is probably because you know me, know about me, or have heard vague rumblings about my plot to overthrow Chuck E. Cheese.  Therefore, I will skip the biographical info for now, but if you really want to dig up some dirt on me, you can check out my profile at the bottom-right corner of this page.  No...the OTHER right.

So what is "Life at Full Tilt"?  The expression "full tilt" originated with jousting, that popular sport from way back in which two knights would grab long spears or lances, get on horses, and charge directly at each other in the hopes of knocking each other off the horse (who probably had more sense than either of the iron-clad idiots who were competing) and impressing some Medieval maidens.  (These guys would do some serious stuff for some damsel nookie.)  It was basically a game of chicken before cars were invented.  If a knight was going "full tilt", it meant that he was pushing his horse as fast as it could go and leaning as hard into his lance as he dared.  Since then, the expression has come to mean "at full speed" or "as hard as one can".  (For more references, read Don Quixote, specifically his fixation with windmills.)

For my purposes, "full tilt" has two other meanings.  I tend to look at things in a slightly screwy way.  I am perpetually in that state of being in which one looks at something and tilts his head while trying to figure out the meaning of said thing.  Imagine you are looking at a large Chevy Suburban with decals on the back window indicating that the driver has a family containing at least 5 kids.  On the bumper of that monstrosity, however, you see a "Pro-Choice" bumper sticker.  You just have to look at that scene as a whole, tilt your head, and go "Huh?"  These are the things I notice and will hopefully pass on to you, Dear Tilters.

The other meaning for "full tilt" relates to wine.  I spent several years in the wine business and have subsequently developed a passion for the stuff.  I know it's just rotten grape juice, but it is GOOD rotten grape juice.  Try getting rotten bananas to taste that good!  In my dealings with wine, I discovered that both the best moment and saddest moment related to wine happen at the same time: when the bottle is at full tilt and the last drops are being poured out.  You have the (hopefully) pleasant feeling imparted by the wine you have just drunk, but you also have the sad feeling that there is no more to be had.  There is a deeper meaning to this that relates to life as a whole, I am sure, but we'll try to figure that out later.

So...what can you expect from here on out?  Well, my interests are varied, but here is what I will (probably) be covering in the future:

- wine
- the funny aspects of my family life
- food (I'm actually a pretty good cook, but I am NOT a "foodie")
- entertainment and popular culture (usually in a mocking tone)
- Monty Python
- anything else that catches my attention but won't cause me to rant

I'll update as often as I can, and I promise that future posts won't be this long.  If you have any topics you would like to see me cover, or HELPFUL suggestions in general to offer, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.